Mittwoch, 17. Oktober 2012

Never Know

Hello dear reader,
how are you? Hope you´re well.

2 weeks ago the father of my sister in law died. Her kids David and Felizia are so young and they will never meet their grandfather.
I love my sister in law like my real sister, the fact she´s loving my brother with his good and bad, makes me happy and it´s not important what she did before knowing him.

Death is one of our elemental incident in life, but we´ll never adapt to it, when someone close to us are going away forever.
In the year of 2001 my Dad had a strong heart attack, in this moment he lost his health, his job and his house. The good side of it: he flew his first time with a helicopter^^ (they flew immediatly to a special heart hospital). My Dad is a very funny person :) he was already interested in helicopters as a kid.
One day after it happend we visited him in the emergency station, he laid in the corner of the room beside him two much more older inviduals, they already looked like they passed away, it was quiet and it smelled after germicide. 
He slept while we came in, his face was really pale, everywhere machines who surrounded him and everywhere thin tubes on his body. The sight was horrible, my mom was the only one who didn´t tear up, my siblings and I couldn´t resist to sob. He woke up, surely because we wet his bed :). And the first thing he said while he slowly opened his eyes was: "Why are you crying? I´m not dead yet". We laughed and told him how much we loved him. The doctor came in and took my mother to speak with her, minutes passed away, it felt like hours. She came again, bit on her tissue, and fought against her tears. He must have told her something bad, her eyes got red, she couldn´t speak one word, after a short time she stood there like nothing happend, but I knew my mother very well, her appearance was brave but her heart was broken, she squeezed her package of tissue like a lemon. Our time to visit him was over, no one dared to ask her. We went out, my mother at last, she smiled to him like she was saying: "everything will be better" and gave him a kiss on his lips (it was the first time that I saw her kissing him) without a word and without looking back. She closed the door softly and broke down, I think I´d never saw her crying since the death of my grandfather, she told us what the doctor said with a shaky voice: "the aorta has a fracture, they could do an operation but only with 20% chance to survive, or leave it like it is, which would mean a life expectancy of 5 years at most".
We decided for the last option.

10 years passed and I´m very blessed, I hope it will last very long^^. I appriciate every second with him and I've learnt after that, it could always be the last moment with the person you love or like, I take care what I say before I go and kissed and hug the person it could always be the last one. Most get annoyed when I´m doing this cheesy stuff, but in this aspect I´m very selfish because I want to do the best I could to not regret whatever happend.

Since then I also learnt to let go :)
In my opinion it's the most difficult thing to realize as a human being. It starts with tiny things you like, you want to have or you spend time on it. Maybe sometimes it'll become a habit. It can be everything from something you spent a lot of money on, to the person you love or really like. We're focusing on something to fill our inner emptiness. For example a very expensive watch. A watch helps us to organize our time, it doesn't have another function like that. To have a beautiful watch is an extra for your soul, the thought you own something you like or something you get from a special person or a special reason makes you happy. An expensive watch still has the one function, but it's negligible in respect to it's materialistic value. The prominent function now is to make the owner happy or proud to own something so special. Of course some rare people will buy it to admire its inner life and formidable handwork.
But still, if the owner loses it by any chance, the loss will be much greater than usual. Probably even greater than a gift from someone special, as at least the special person still lives on in our life even if the gift is lost, whereas the self bought watch from our example is a really great loss without a substitute.
What do we really need? What do we want?

I´ve never met my grandfathers, but luckily my grandmothers :) (today only one left, see picture) to see the grandparents it´s nice to know where you come and where the roots are from. Hope my future kids are going to meet sometime their grandparents.

piuh so much private stuff :D the next blogpost will be more fun :)
ok I wish you all a wonderful week
lovely greetings

Donnerstag, 11. Oktober 2012


Hello everybody,

if you read my blogposts before you will know that my family in law are latinos and of course you can always find tortillas in every latino household, my dad bought it before but doesn´t know how to eat them. we put it on the stove and ate them with sweet condense milk XD
From then on I really like tortillas but it´s very expensive here. 

My cousin always told me from the new place she found, a salat bar, she always sent me pics from her delicious wrap filled with vegetables, chicken and cocktail sauce (recipe coming soon!). It was enough for me, my floor was flooded with my spittle. I did it myself, the beginning was horrible, it was too hard, too thick, too stringy, but now I know the trick about it ^^
really easy if you follow my instructions step by step :)

Ingridients: (for 6 torillas)

13 tblsp flour
1/3 tsp salt
2 tblsp olive oil
200 ml (7/8 cup or 13 1/2 tblsp) luke warm water


flour, salt, olive oil

spread it all over th flour and swirl it with your finger 
(I used 3 fingers from the middle part) 

after all combined, kneat it until the dough gets smooth I would say 3 minutes

wet the surface of the dough and put it in a bowl, so it doesn´t dry wrap it with platic wrap.
If you need the dough immediately let it sit in the fridge for 15min and 15min in the room.
I do the dough often one day before I want to eat, you can put the dough although in the freezer.

the consistensy will be very sticky, put flour on the surface the dough on top and turn around
on the sides too, flatten the dough

and split it in 6 pieces

roll the dough in balls, so it gets easier to from round tortillas, if you do more than 
this recipe cover it with kitchen towel, to keep them smooth

 use a rolling pin to flatten the dough

  I used my fingers to spread the dough properly to make it thinner on the outside. 
Keep the hands close (fingertips on the outside) and open them while you move the dough in a circle

Important, the pan should be really really hot! Use a iron pan if you have. 
After the pan gets really hot lower the heat a little and put the tortilla in the pan, 
(we want to warm-up it on both sides) when minimum 1/3 of the dough gets invisible (20 sec), flip it.

the dough sizzles a bit, flip it again after 10-15 sec

normally after the second flip it should puff out but don´t worry if it 
doesn´t after 5sec, flip it again!

I fliped it very often until it lifts everywhere especially on the edge, sometimes 
I move the edge of the tortilla to the middle of the pan (the hottest part of the pan is the middle)

finish! You can cover it with a kitchen towel to keep it warm

in the end it should have many thin layers like this, warm tortillas are sooo delicous :)

After you´re finish you can put cheese on the hot tortilla or put the tortilla cheese for 20 sec in the microwave, put ham on it and top it with creme fraîche, siracha and dry onions wuuaaahh sooooo yuummiiiiii!!!! I love this combination :) try it! Sometimes I do salad in it, both variations are soo yuummi!!

You can fill it with everything what your heart desire, meat with garlic dressing, or only vegetables with hummus, get creative ;D and tell me how you filled your tortilla :D

everyone has the ingridients at home, so give it a try :D
I´m sure you will love it!

I wish you a nice weekend my lovely readers!
Lovely greetings


Hello everyone :)

my best friend Habiba from Pakistan and I went together to school, I loved it to eat in her home after school, she is a very good cook! I love oriental food :), going in to her home was always a sensation like you´re in a different country^^ the smell of different spices (-I´d never heard of them before) was mouth-watering. I miss her very much, she immigrated to England and has 2 kids already, I feel very old^^,  she taught me so much to cook and one of her recipe I want to share :). It´s really easy to do, everyone can do it!

Let´s start with the ingridients:

 (I forgot the olive oil >__<)
1 can chickpeas 400g-500g
water from the chickpea can
1 chilli pepper
3 tblsp tahin (sesame paste)
3 tblsp olive oil
1 lemon or 7 tblsp of lemon concentrate
4 small cloves of garlic

1 tsp (level) salt
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp hot bell pepper powder

 all the ingridients in the blender untill smooth
I used half of the chickpea water
if you like it more thick, put the liquid step by step to your liking :)

et voilá
garnish it with cumin and hot bell pepper

It´s really delicious with tortillas, if you don´t want to smell out of your mouth eat it to dinner, or put less garlic in it :D
hope you give it a try.

lovely greetings

Dienstag, 9. Oktober 2012

Hello everyone,

I entered a competition from Sindy a nice and strong woman, I really like her blog, you can find everything from fashion to lifestyle, but  it´s in german, you can enter until 21.October 2012
you can win big prices but only for people with an adress in the EU, wish you all good luck :)

I tried to make this make up like the first picture, I´ve never won a competition, hope I´ll win^^

(I´m looking so silly in the first two pictures ;P)
Don´t worry that doesn´t count as a whole new post, I´m still going to make a post this week^^

lovely greetings

Montag, 1. Oktober 2012


Hello Everyone!

How are you doing? I´m sleepy :)
In my last video on my Youtube channel I promised to do regularly videos and blogposts (my goal is once a week) and after saying this words a week passed with neither of both. Do you know it, when you undertake something and it doesn´t work out? Because your freaking mind is blocked and puts you under pressure with weird thoughts althought you don´t actively think anything? I know it sounds really paradoxal and probably makes no sense to you :D
but I´m sure someone out there will understand me maybe :)

My lovely brother in law (the youngest) Andrés was visiting us for 5 days. At first I was afraid of being too boring for him but it was like in the past with no stress and endless time. I have to say he is 4 years younger than me. We met each other when he was 14, I was allowed to see his journey of growing up being a man and his experiences with girls. After he broke up with his first girlfriend he started to change, he was only busy with his friends and community, he begun to stop talking about his live.
3 years since then, one of them he flew to Guatemala and Chile where he met his girlfriend in Chile.
I really admire every single person who can keep a long-distance relationship, I can't imagine that I could manage it myself.

Hehe ok I tell you my lovestory :)
super cheesy by the way
The time we met each other my husband Pedro lived in England where he studied and I lived with my parents. I was 18 and he was 25. I don´t know why but I registered myself on the ICQ page half year before we met. I did a cartoon avatar and my nickname was morningstar, a little anectode to my nickname: ^^

I already told you that my big sister Adsachan I called her Uaichan (laotian uai = big sister) it´s more comfortable for me, had a Thai- China restaurant, I tried very hard to help my sister with all my strenght that I had, but I was more of a burden to her -I think, I couldn´t take an order because I always mixed up the numbers, was too slow and I couldn´t serve the guests because I shooked to much and did so many mistakes >__< I was really nervous. But I came everyday to her to try to make her smile with my silly attitude and being a connection to our family (the big part of my family was fighting with her, long and different story). It was saturday deep in the night. I couldn´t bear the stuffy air, (when you work in the gastronomy you will know what I mean). I did my work (washed glasses) and waited outside in front of the car. The air was fresh and cold, not a human soul was there, the firmament was free of clouds, stars everywhere and the sun was going up slowly -to watch the sun going up is the most beautiful thing in live. It was dark but in the same time bright, I could see a little sharp of the sun, and there it was another shape of a moon west from the sun, I was wondering because behind me was the moon! It was breath taking! So wonderfull! I can´t remember how long I stand there with an open mouth, I had to share this wonderfull incident I ran to the restaurant and dragged her out to the parking area, but it was gone there was only the sun in the sky. I will never forget this wonderful moment in my live, but it´s sad to see the unbelievable incident alone, to see the face you love smiling is the biggest relieve on earth on hard times, as if the time stops for you, for a moment. Yes it was the morningstar, the planet venus on the west of the sun and the evening star when venus is east from the moon.

ok back to the love story :D
he was in England and I was in Germany but luckily he'd just finished studying. I can remember it like it was yesterday. He found me and he was the first man who didn´t ask me pervert things :D after 5 hours chatting he didn´t  ask for a picture of me, very simpatico. I always showed a picture of Uaichan and me and asked who I am. He was the first guy who guessed right, when I find the picture I will show you :)
He sent a picture of him, and at first I thought it was a joke, it was too perfect to be good, I really thought he took a picture from the internet to pretend he was a charming guy :DDD, he didn't have a webcam, that was more reason for me to suspect him :D the day after he borrowed a webcam from his friend. I saw him in "real", I was shocked that someone like him liked me. I didn´t have much hope for a relationship. I would accept it when he breaks up with me. I thought I will never meet a perfect guy like him again, everyday could be the last day, I didn't dissimulate myself, he would find it out earlier or later, so I prefered the first one. It would hurt if you spent too much time with someone you like and break up.
It was 2 weeks until he came back to Germany, we chatted like insane, night and day! We lived in different cities but luckily in the same state (with train and bus 2 hours away). We met each other one day after he finally arrived, I decided to meet us in his city, really dangerous, please don´t it, I had luck. It was perfect and my first date with a guy, we went to the park, had our first kiss on a bench in front of a fountain, went to the cinema (we watched X-Men III), ate tarte flambee and drank some cocktails.
The days, the weeks were fantastic, after the third week on a sunday I sat there in front of a flower shop and his head on my knees, his body laying on the ground, he told me his decision in which city he will live soon and wanted me to move with him, but my parents wouldn´t allow it at all, only -if we married- (I thought). I said: "I would go with you everywhere, but my parents wouldn´t allow me... only if I´m married" the last sentence was more of a joke. He answered: " I would marry you anyway earlier or later, so let´s just get married now". We told it nobody only Ami my little sister and a friend of mine. 3 months after meeting each other on the internet, we were married. We exchanged our rings on the bench where we kissed the first time^^. My and his parents were shocked of course but they accepted it, and were happy for us :)
We want to marry in the church, but it takes time and money :) we will see, we are going to take our time ;)
I don't regret our decision, and I would do it again. I´m happy to have a man like him on my side :) we have our ups and downs but most of the time ups and it will never end I hope.



piiuuh that was a loooong blogpost :D hope you had fun to read my personal stuff :)
wish you all good luck to find Mr. Right like me or being happy with the man on your side
lovely greetings